Sex is Normal

This is one of those things that has been burning in the back of my mind for some years now. Some of the more absurd / amusing things I have seen in various hentai programs...

1. When your girlfriend's milf of a mother catches the two of you having sex, she will have no qualms about insisting on a threesome - either to teach you, your sister, or both.
2. Alternately, a mother will freely offer up her virgin daughter to a strapping young basement dweller.
3. All women are bisexual. It is only a matter of whether or not they admit it yet.
4. Virgin females will happily collect themselves into harems for a mass-deflowering by the protagonist.
5. Bringing a girl to orgasm is a good way to say you are sorry for raping her.
6. This goes both ways - men will eventually enjoy getting raped, too.
7. Do it enough and she will become your hapless mind-controlled sex-slave.
8. Because whoever cums first loses.
9. Virgin women are reserved, asexual creatures, who are not driven to sex until they actually experience it.
10. Taking a girl's virginity produces roughly the same amount of pain and blood for each girl.
11. The G-spot is in a mysterious, hard to reach location.
12. Sexually transmitted diseases are a myth.
13. Possibly because real men only have sex with virgin women, making sex an unsuitable vector.
14. Sex cults make enough money to field their own small army, navy and air force.
15. Failing that, they can summon a demonic horde.
16. Girls with D cups or less may feel insecure about their breast size.
17. In fact, to truly be attractive, a woman should at least be sporting a G cup.
18. Massive breast expansion never results in visible vein structure.
19. Indeed, the nipples on some breasts may be large enough to use as sexual orifices.
20. This is because nipples have a single hole at the tip, like a penis does.
21. Spontaneous, ejaculatory-style lactation is normal during a female orgasm.
22. All virgins bleed during their first time. No non-virgins bleed because of sex.
23. The cervix, if it exists at all, is more like a second hymen to be breached rather than a life-threatening situation if forced into.
24. Vaginae are as deep as they need to be to accommodate any size of intruder. Two feet? No problem.
25. Indeed, a four-foot long, foot-wide cock will have no problems fitting inside a three-foot long body with an eight-inch wide waist. She won't even bulge.
26. The clitoris can be safely ignored until convenient. Any proper woman will be pleasured enough by a properly gargantuan dick.
27. Convenient usually means that the clitoris is capable of growing into a penis. For some men, this is apparently a turn on. For me, more like nightmare fuel.
28. In fact, the biggest packages actually belong to 'women' who can perform autofellatio without bending their backs.
29. 'Well endowed' men, however, should be happy with their little twenty incher.
30. ...or who are incapable of sucking their own glans because they are simply that long.
31. It is perfectly natural for a girl to squeeze a three-inch wide, foot long cock down her throat.
32. She will usually breath just fine in doing so.
33. All girls will happily swallow all semen, no matter their prior experience or its donor's diet.
34. Alternately, they will comment on specific nutrients being lacking, such as iron.
35. The typical ejaculation is approximately two gallons.
36. There is no such thing as a male refractory period.
37. Semen stays fresh and syrupy. It never clumps or curdles.
38. Cum in hair washes out with absolutely no trouble.
39. Cum in eyes causes no discomfort whatsoever.
40. It is always a solid, milky white. Or sometimes always yellow. Men within a given hentai do not have differing colors or consistencies of seed.
41. Cum does not mix with blood, they remain separate, like oil and water, the blood runs down in streaks.
42. Or anything else. Santorum has no place in hentai. I actually don't mind that one.
43. Taking that a step further. Feces does not even exist. The Anus is just a specialized sex organ.
44. It is perfectly reasonable to expect a sufficiently well-endowed sexual organ to reach from anus to throat without damaging anything in between. Or vise versa.
45. It will not even, as one friend puts it, 'taste like ass'. Poop doesn't exist, remember.
46. Heaven help you if you actually do encounter a hentai where feces plays any sort of role.
47. Steel segmented tentacles will not cause the least bit of discomfort as they drive foot after foot of their length into the vagina.
48. The same goes for chitinous plating driving into the anus.
49. They may indeed want our woman, but there is always a female co-conspirator.
50. People who are turned on by one of tentacles, furries, futanari, dentata and assorted other major fetishes will be even more turned on by the combination of all of them. Just look at how successful Venus 5 was.